Right now we are shopping around for a new car for me. I still have the old beat up car that I got in high school, handed down from my mom. Granted it was less beat up when I received than it is now... A couple of mishaps happened in my first year of driving. Once I backed into an industrial mailbox, not a proud moment of mine. While I busted a rear light and dented the side of my car, the mailbox didn't look like I had touched it at all. That was definitely a thank God moment. At least my first accident was with myself, haha. Anyways, there are several issues with my car. It's falling apart. I can't open my driver side door without breaking out some pliers or rolling down my window to open it from the outside. That among the visor mirror falling down, the rearview mirror falling down (Brian glued it back up there for me), and more, it's time for a new car for me. Oh and the air conditioning doesn't work, which is the worst possible problem when you live in Florida.
New cars are something that has been a struggle for us. Brian is a total car person. He loves cars. He would design cars if he could. He just replaced his first car that he received from his parents last year. He had a old mustang from his dad. That car was also falling apart. The convertible top leaked, so whenever it rained the inside of the car would get damp or grow puddles. Since we live in Florida, rain is kind of a problem. It stank really bad. Also, sometimes when you let off the gas, the car would keep accelerating. Kind of dangerous. Brian offered to get me a car first, since we both had sad cars, but since it was his hard earned, hard saved money he had to get the first car in my book. I would have felt so bad if I had gotten a new car with his money that he saved. We were only engaged at the time. I also told him that he had to get what he wanted. It would be his last fun car until we had our kids and they moved out of the house. So I made him go for it. He got a used 370z by Nissan. It's definitely a perfect car for a car guy like him.
The way it has caused us problems is the fact that now Brian has this super awesome car and I still have my old beat up car sitting the drive way. Brian has regretted getting that car, especially when our friends see his car versus mine. What they don't know is the conversations we have had about that car before he got it. He asked me if it was okay time and again before buying it. I made him get it, because I knew he wanted it and I knew he wouldn't have a chance for some fun in the form of a car for the next 20-30 years. So, while it isn't the most practical car for a family, right now it's perfect. We don't have kids so a two-seater is not a problem. Some think it's small but we've traveled in it, putting two suitcases and several other things in the back. We've gone to BJs and stocked up for the month in it. So while it may seem like a kid car, I definitely think it's all about where you are in life.
Brian didn't get a brand new one or spend thousands of dollars making it beautiful. He researched and researched for what he wanted and found it used. He picked exactly what he wanted and then found it where it wouldn't cost us an arm and a leg. Not only that, but he paid for 2/3 of the car in cash. He waited until he could do that. How could I have taken that away from him and gotten a new car for myself? Yeah right.
It has put a certain strain on our marriage in unexpected ways. People see the car and assume things like we live outside of our means or we are materialistic or Brian loves his car more than me. I can assure you that none of those are true. When you live a Christian life and are in a Christian marriage people will definitely judge you on how you live, even if they don't see the path you took to get there. Even though Brian saved for years to afford that car and even bought it used, people assume the worst, that he's a kid spending money he doesn't have.
When it comes to being a wife, it has been a challenge to reassure him of his purchase, encouraging him to trust his judgement and not the assumptions of other people. I pushed him to get the fun car and I still reassure him of it almost a year later. It's difficult when people assume that's also the only place you spend your excess funds. Yet, they don't know your finances, how much you are saving elsewhere, how bad what you were replacing was, how much you give away to God or charities. When it comes to our marriage, we've learned a big lesson. Guard it. People will send hurtful assumptions your way, no matter the topic. It could be any other part of your life that they will attack. That is what you get for being Christian. They will find what they think is a weakness and attack you. So, guard you marriage and stand confident in your decisions and your relationship founded in God.
Before you speak, think. Think about how it's going to come across, how the other person will hear it, what assumptions could be drawn from your words, and what hurt could be caused. It is always better to uplift your spouse than to talk about things that could be taken negatively. Point out their great qualities, it will remind you why you love them so much and it will only cause your spouse to find confidence in your relationship. Anything else, besides uplifting words, those are for between you and your spouse. Only. Also, before you speak those words to your spouse, make sure that they really need to be said. Your spouse will take to heart every negative word, every negative tone, every negative look. If you bring down your spouse, it is ten times as hard to build them back up and they will not be as strong as before. Love your spouse, not just in your heart, but in your words, tone, looks. Love them with everything you have. 
