Sunday, September 23, 2012


Compromise. Brian and I went the first 5 months of our marriage without cable. We had Netflix and it was easy to decide what to watch since there were really too many options. Only movies and reruns get old fast when you have run through all of your favorites.

A month or so ago we decided that we could afford cable and it was just in time for football season. Of course, now is the issue of what to watch since there are so many options. Compromise is a funny thing. Brian is one of those guys who would watch sports 24/7 and only mix it up with car shows and a few select miscellaneous shows. I however enjoy food shows, tbs, etc. We don't overlap very often when it comes to TV. So, compromise. It's been a learning experience. When we were dating it was easy since we only saw each other 2 or 3 times a week. It's easy to compromise when you can go home and watch what you want. When you live together and have to share...well that's a whole other story. Now, I like a fair share of football, as long as it's relevant, like a favorite team. Brian however loves watching everything, he has three fantasy football leagues going to prove his football devotion. Football has tested our sharing abilities for sure.

We found our balance through the fact that we don't want our mate to outright suffer. So when I want to watch America's Next Model, I usually record it to watch when Brian is busy doing something else. Since I'm ok with football most of the time, it comes on our TV fairly often. Otherwise, we try to compromise.

A lot of our marriage is about compromise and allowing the other person to partially take over your life. When I lived at home I looked forward to moving out and having my life to myself a little more. When you live with someone you don't realize how much of your life is taken up by them. I thought I would have more time to myself, HA! I was so naive! Marriage is all about having a joint life. If I thought I didn't get much alone time before, I get even less now. Brian and I are introverts to the extreme. We love hanging out at home and just being with each other. We enjoy our friends but I'm sure hearing that we are introverts is no surprise whatsoever.

Brian and I have this understanding that if we get alone time, it's ok, it's more than ok, we love it. So when he goes out with friends or I do, it's okay. We don't have to feel bad. Little things like time alone, TV selection, etc, they look like little compromises, but sometimes they can be the hardest to get through. Like when Brian turns all of the glasses up to dry instead of upside down, that used to get to me. It comes down to what matters. All these little things that don't really matter in the grand scheme of things, why am I going to insist that it be done my way and potentially hurt my marriage?

Now, I have gotten to the point where if something he does strikes me as different, I just move on. The people we marry are not exactly like us. We can't expect them to act like we do, think like we do, or even like the same shows we do. Compromise is tough but it doesn't have to be if we remember our differences.

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